Open letter to all the people who thought they were SO cool in high school.

Like it wasnt bad enough I was the minority at every school I went to from grade 1- high school graduation, it wasnt bad enough that I got called every racist name in the book some of which didnt even apply to me you ignorant idiots, that no one wanted to talk to me because I wasnt the same skin colour as you, that you listed to a crazy rumor from a crazier girl from a messed up home who craved attention so much she told you all something that was 100% false about me and you all believed her, that you made it impossible to get to the upstairs washroom during school because you all sat along the walls like you owned it with your legs stretched out, much too lazy to move them but, to still be like that is just pure lame!

We are 31 years old.... If I can learn to forgive, move on and truthfully succeed far past you and your druggie/hoebag buddies I think you can learn to at least grow up!

Signed,
The minority chubby girl from high school who secretly laughs at you now!

ps- sorry to hear you are getting divorced after what 1yr of marriage? Bet you are regretting putting up the pics, status updates and link to your wedding website on facebook now arent ya! Guess your soon to be exs couldn't stand you either!

Dear Aaron Carter,

When will you finally admit that you are gay?
I will be your biggest fag hag just admit it...
I caught a glimpse of you on dancing with the stars and it was pretty... a little too pretty if you know what I mean.

I know you have to live up to "woman beater" Nick as your older brother but really hes washed up so perhaps you should pick someone else like oh I don't know Lance Bass...

I dunno, mayhaps you're not ready for your big reveal but those ruffled jumpsuits and too tiny glitter frog jackets really suit you...



Also in the future please cut your hair (you could poke someones eye out) and pay your damn taxes so it doesn't take up space on the 6 o'clock news!

Stay Pretty ;),

• Paparazzi - Lady GagGag (never been a fan and probably never will be)
  
• Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas (after hearing this song for the 197838273 time I now HATE it... thanks to the radio)
  
• Anything by the Jonas Brothers (im too old to think anything you do or sing is cute)
  
• Carrera- Karl Wolf (what a dumb ass video)
  
• Knock You Down - Keri Hilson featuring Kanye West & Ne-Yo (Keri Hilson cant sing live for shit so I feel like this is a fraud)
  
• Best I Ever Had - Drake (So what if you're from Toronto like moi, you need some new shit in radio rotation!)
  
• Anything from Nickelback ( Cut your hair Chad simon says!)
  
• Whatever You Like - T.I (you're in jail and you still wont shut up!)

Dear Paris,

I remember when I didn't know who the heck you were and you looked like this.. a normal brown eyed girl!

I was somewhat impressed I gotta say. You have continued to stay on my good side so kudos to you BUT shit girl what the heck is up with all the Hello Kitty ish???!

Yeah HK is cute but your last stint in Japan where you wore a dress covered in little Hello Kitty heads was just plain whack! And NO miss Paris not even you could pull this off!


Stay Pretty ;)

Mr.25 is on strike and is sad and slightly depressed about it...
-Twenty-four thousand inside and outside workers — virtually the entire municipal civil service workers are now on strike-

They don't know how long they will be on strike but in the meantime they don't get paid.
He didn't even want to strike but when you're part of a union...well you have no choice.
It could last up to a month.... with NO pay... ok well sorry if you picket every freakin day 7am-11am you get a VERY minimal amount per week... enough to pay lets say your cell phone bill.

I feel so helpless, I don't know what I can say or do to make things better... plus I'm sure having a gf hasn't been kind to his wallet since he insists on taking care of the bill...

Poor guy, I hope this gets resolved soon....

Whomever told me that Zack and Miri Make a Porno was a good movie should be hurt!

A friend of mine mentioned today how she saw a movie on the weekend on TV and how bad it sucked and it reminded me of when I saw it a few weeks ago.

It was a Friday night and I was sitting there with Mr.25 deciding what movie to order off the TV when I passed Zack and Miri Make a Porno on the list. I remember people telling me it was funny when it came out so we ordered it....

Waking up with itchy eyes that no matter how hard you to to scratch still remain itchy.
They puff so much no makeup will help.
Nose running so fast you cant catch it.
So stuffed you are forced to breathe through your mouth which only leads to dry lips...
You sneeze so much and so fast people look at you like you're mad..

I run to the medicine cabinet to find relief...
WHAT?!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOO......
An empty pack.....
What dumb ass put an empty pack in the cabinet??
Is this a sick joke?

Ugh..

So suffer I must today....
because I'm the dumb ass....

Damn you allergies..... damn you!

After yesterday's post and seeing Ralph Tresvants horrible mustache from back in the day I got to thinking... Are mustache's ever really OK?

Im talking about the male kind here because mustache's on women are never ever a debatable topic!

Even the hottest men can be made to look ugly with a couple weeks worth of growth over the lip... Take Matthew MaConaughey for instance.. From Hot to hillbilly with this fake stache..

Or Seth Green who lets face it tends to win people over with his humour rather than his looks but what happens when an ok looking guy grows a mustache? He ends up reminding us of a red headed Borat instad of a girly eyed funny man! um is he wearing mascara here? ok thats a whole other post...

I think it becomes more acceptable to keep a stache once you pass the age of lets say 55.. why? because you're now a senior and seniors can get away with a lot like socks and sandals or Hawaiian shirts every day of the week. Also I know this theory is true because the site of Dr.Phil doesn't make me want to laugh or mail him a razor.

Also my dear dear father sports a mustache. He has always had one and is never ever allowed to shave it...ever. He did once when I was 4 and I cried and cried for days because I didn't know where my father went lol... so yeah hes never allowed to shave it... and I happen to think he looks good with it... plus hes a senior now so its ok!

Also, the word mustache just bugs me. I mean just say it... mustache...mus-tache... its just one of those weird words that if you actually think about will bug you too! Im sure of it ;)

Thoughts?

Stay Pretty ;)

Hey Jamie Lynn Spears
When you got preggo at 16 because you weren't paying attention in sex ed enough to know that if you have unprotected sex there is a chance you could get knocked up, one would think (hope and pray) you would learn to cover it up or wear a god damn chastity belt for a while no?

Now you're preggers again only 3 months after delivering your first child.

This made me shake my head....

But what made me want to shake you, hose you down and lock you in a dark padded room was the fact that you went ahead and had liposuction because you "didn't want to get fat".... WHILE you were pregnant!! Yes you claim that you didn't know you were pregnant again but shouldn't the dr have known something was up when he asked you the pre-op questions? Like when was your last period or is there ANY chance you could be pregnant? Who did you go to Dr Seuss??

The irony is... you got lipo because you didn't want to get fat... and now you're pregnant!
Talk about a waste of money!

Thank you for taking Brits spot on my "Damn she's F'd Up" list you stupid wench...


------------

Stay Pretty ;)

Acceptable work foods, what are they??

Lets examine this topic shall we? I got to thinking today as I peeled my baby Clementine at my desk - boy this smells... Not only does the odour stay on your hands forever no matter how much antibacterial hand soap you use, but it lingers in the air all around you... so much so that nearby coworkers either give you dirty looks or ask for some what what you got.

I ate my 2 baby clementines I did! I devoured each piece because it taste so good no matter how orangey I made the room smell but it got me thinking would I bring oranges to work again? Hell yes because thats a smell people can live with but what are some unacceptable work foods that are borderline or risky??

Lets make a list shall we?
- Tuna - really any kind of fish or seafood... generally this is not a pleasant smell
- Indian food - Although I heart Indian food... there is No fan strong enough to make this smell stay in the kitchen microwave and ONLy the kitchen microwave!
- Toast... I only mention this for the dorks who leave it in the toaster so long it burns and then I have to walk around the office all day smelling burnt toast and wondering if I'm having a stroke because of those stupid "do you smell burnt toast? then you may be having a stroke" commercials
- Soup... yes some soups when warmed up just smell yuck!
- Blue cheese..... although I like blue cheese dressing with wings... keep it for the pub!
- Bacon (pork or turkey).... getting your daily bacon fix in the work micro makes everyone suffer!
-Eggs... while we are on breakfast foods eggs are a big no no too
- Popcorn... this is always a yes and no.. yes because it tastes sooo good and it lures people to your desk and no because it stinks for hours and lures people to your desk!

Am I missing any key foods??

Conclusion? Only bland non smelly foods allowed at work please and thank you.... oh except my baby clementines... aint no one taking these babies away from me!

My keyboard smells like orange now...


Stay pretty ;)

It appears that my constant sarcasm, rudeness and ignoring is no match for the all mighty Mr. Pisser as he continues to think he stands even the slightest chance with me after asking total strangers to touch my no zones!
I received a text 2 nights ago from him saying "what are you saying?".... see not only did it make me think WOW even ignoring this boy isn't working but the words he chose to use annoyed me for some reason...

I mean I would have must rather preferred "what you sayin?" or "what are you doing?" or "yo shorty whats the good word" or something but "what are you saying?" just seems.... well it just doesn't flow right... a little too structured. I dunno maybe he just annoys me in general so everything he does in turn annoys the shit outta me... needless to say I didn't respond and although I'm hoping he finally takes a hint I have a feeling Mr Pisser will continue to piss on my parade every now and then!

Anyway as I was driving to work I saw a sign for Xmas Wine... what the heck is xmas wine? Is it bottled by elves? Is it blessed by Santa? Are there tiny candy cane pieces in it? (that could be yum)... I mean why call it xmas wine.. You know what I would love to see... Halloween wine, Valentines wine, St Patricks day wine, Hanukkah wine, Eid wine... err ok forget the last one its too taboo...
But come on tell me you ladies wouldn't run out to buy Valentines wine just because the bottle had little tiny cute hearts on it?!!


And guys you know you would be curious about Green Wine ;) Any excuse to drink green liquids right?!



Stay Pretty ;)

Dear Rogers Wireless,

I was thrilled when I called you 3 weeks ago to upgrade my cell and you told me that I was eligible to receive a brand new Blackberry Bold for only $100! Your customer rep was super nice and assured me that I would be happy with this phone & service when it arrived in 2-5 business days.

I have now been waiting over 3 freakin weeks for this fabu phone and I am less then impressed with your customer service on this matter. I have called several times over the last 3 weeks and it seems no one knows anything there so Ive come to the conclusion that you are all a bunch of idiots!

Impatiently Waiting,
Far

Dear ice cream,
I hate that you call my name when im walking down the freezer section of the grocery store.
I hate that you come in so many yummy varieties that I feel unfair if I dont taste you all.
I hate that you are made of milk and taste so freakin good.
I hate that im lactose intolerant and get a tummy ache when I eat you but have no willpower to not.
I hate that when you are in my freezer you are almost always gone within 3 days.
I hate that you are adding to my already flabby belly instead of my butt where you are needed.
I hate that I crave you even when its freezing out.
I hate that you melt in my mouth and turn into liquid so I trick myself into eating more.

Most of all ice cream....
I hate that I love you.

Sincerely,

Far

Just like Peter Griffin a lot of things really annoy me so I will be starting an ongoing series of posts called "you know what really grinds my gears?" starting today!

So you know what really grinds my gears??

When you put on a sweater that has a 2 way zipper and when you go to take it off it gets stuck at the bottom so you have to slither & struggle just to get out of it. Not the end of the world when you're alone but pretty damn annoying when you're not! I guess it would be worse if it was the zipper on your pants huh..

GRR to zippers that get stuck... Im convinced that there are zipper gremlins!

Stay Pretty ;)

The other day I asked a coworker today if she liked my hair...

she paused for about 5 seconds looked at me, looked away and then started her next sentence with a very long "weeeeeeell, you know how I DOOO like your hair? UP " smiled and went back to work...

Note to self:

Next time I blow dry my hair with NO effort, NO brush & NO product dont ask for anyones opinion!!

What I do know is the fact that I looked "acceptable" (I wont go as far as to say great cuz I did see a bit of frizz but really who doesnt have a wee bit of frizz right?!) when I left the house.. now what happens between my home and work is completely and totally outta my hands!

Stay Pretty ;)